hEy! my frIEnd!

Hey you! MY Friend! Why you not come to barbecue, eh? You supposed to come to barbecue! You do not know that? What you doing then? You going to writing class? What they teach you in writing class? How you make sentence? Oh come on, dude! That some crazy stuff man! I am writer. They do not teach you how make sentence! I teach you how you make sentence! And you drink my punch and eat pork too! Don't you know nothing? You not come to barbecue and then there was so much pork! I eat so much pork! I eat too much pork! That not good man! You like eat too much pork? I NOT like eat too much pork! Now today I sweat pork! All day I sweat pork! My boss say why you smell like that dude? I say I SWEAT PORK! Boss say get out of here man! I not want smell your PORK SWEAT! I say I can not help PORK SWEAT! Now I am home alone with PORK SWEAT! You not go to writing class any more dude! You come to barbecue next time! Kahhh! My Friend!